How to Deal With Failure

Let's take some moments and see if we are able to conquer the failure or if failure would be able to conquer us!

Changing point of view-->>First of all, we have to stop looking at failure in a negative way. People tend to link failure with weakness, stupidity, and dumbness. I totally disagree with that. I believe if you are doing something, and you think you are just perfect in it, that means something seriously is going wrong with it. When a person thinks he is perfect, he has closed all doors for any growth or improvement. Whenever there is imperfection, there are million chances of improvement. A person keeps on growing, but a so called 'perfect person' just stops growing. He is in this illusion of being perfect which hinders his growth forever. Look at failure as another step toward success. Make yourself positive enough to see the good sides of failure.

Don't label yourself a 'failure'-->> If you fail in something, don't think of yourself as a failure. It just means that you haven't succeeded in doing the work you were doing. It means that you are only some steps away from achieving your goal. By labeling yourself as a failure you close the door for all possibilities of achieving success. Let me explain this with a beautiful example. There was a man who failed in business at the age of 21; was defeated in a legislative race at the age of 22; failed again in business at 24; overcome the death of his girlfriend at 26; had a nervous breakdown at 27; lost a congressional race at age of 34; lost a senatorial race at age 45; failed to become Vice President at the age 47; lost a senatorial race at 49; and was elected as the President of the United States at the age of 52! He was none other than Abraham Lincoln. He could have labeled himself a failure and ruin his whole life. Instead, he decided to ignore failure and fight against all odds.

Don't behave like a machine-->>Always remember that only highly intelligent people face big failures. They are the ones who cannot get things done in a right manner in first attempt. The reason for this is very simple. A person who follows orders and fulfills them right away, without thinking, is like a machine. There is no difference between that person and a machine. You tell him something and he will do it. However, a successful person is very different. If you tell him to do something in a certain way, he will ask you why he can't do it in other way. He will not follow your order blindly. He always say, "Why not the other way?" He always thinks different from crowd and that's where he succeeds.

See what you have learned-->>When you fail to do something, look back and see how much you have learned. You will be surprised to see that you have learned so much that you would not have learnt if you succeeded in the first attempt. Thomas Edison failed approximately 10,000 times while he was practicing on the light bulb! When people asked him to quit this project, his reply was, "I have gotten lots of results! If I find 10,000 ways something won't work, I haven't failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is often a step forward...."

Never give up-->>No matter how people react to your failure, you should never ever give up. If you start giving up after your every failure, you will see that you will accomplish literally nothing in life. You will start doing something and will quit it forever after you fail in it. In this way, your skills will never be polished. Your dreams will never see the light of day.

Be patient-->>Don't get discouraged if it is taking a little longer than you expected. The more time it will take the better performance it will give. Don't think that you will never achieve your goal or you will never get you want. Failure might cause your goals a little delay but it doesn't mean that you will never achieve them. It simply means that it will take just little longer. When Beethoven was young, everybody used to tell him that he has no talent for music. He knew that he will be the best composer after a considerable time. Today everyone knows that he gave the world some of the best music.

By : Chandresh Bhardwaj

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Bhardwaj1.html

Labels: deal with failure, how to deal with failure, Personal Development, Self Esteem

Look around and you can always find three kinds of people or there are three ways in which people deal with failure. Which category do you fall under?

The first group of people when they experience failure they look at it and say, "You know I fail because I'm not good enough." "I failed because it was just too difficult!" and they begin to make excuses, they begin to blame everyone except themselves, they start complaining, and guess what, they would give up. They say, "Well, it didn't work, let's forget about it, the stupid goal didn't work." And they go for something else. That is the first group.

What does the second group do?

The second group, when they experience failure, they may say, "Well, you know I fail, not because I am not good enough or it is too difficult but, I failed because I did not put enough effort. So I will try harder next time." So do you know what they do? They take more action, they try harder next time. They try again and they still don't get the result, what do they do? They will try again. If they don't get the result again, then what do they do? They try again. If they don't get the result, what they do? They keep trying, trying and trying.

Now, will they eventually hit the goal? Well if they do hit it, it is when they target small little puny goals. But if they were to set extremely exceptional high goals, it is rarely that they will hit it. They will improve by taking so much action and trying hard but they will never hit those targets they want to hit. They will never live the kind of life they want to live.

The reason is this, they keep on taking more action but they do not change their strategy. In other words, if you do the same thing the same way, you are going to produce the same result.

And these people, after a while, they begin to get really frustrated. I have seen so many sales people and so many business people who fall into this category, that whenever a business venture fails or whenever they do not produce the kind of sales results they want, they keep working more hours.

They work harder, they try and see more people and you know, they might try new things but more or less they keep within their comfort zone of doing the same things the same old way.

So, after a while, these people become extremely disillusioned. They say, "You know what the heck, I've tried everything, I've tried so hard but nothing seems to improve."

And, they start to get very cynical. They look at people who really experienced lots of success in their life and say, "Wow, you know what, these people are just lucky.

These people were there at the right place, at the right time and you know, they were just born under a lucky star and you know that I could never do that and I have tried everything."

So ask yourself this question, "Are you or the people around you exhibiting the first two patterns of either giving up or doing the same thing the same way until you get frustrated and you eventually give up at the end of it anyway?"

So, what does the third group of people do?

What is their pattern? See, the third group of people respond to failure very differently. In fact, they do not even see there's failure.

Whenever they do not reach their outcome, they say, "I did not fail. I just got a feedback and my feedback is that I used the wrong strategy."

They looked at it as feedback and they do not look at it as failure, guess what, do they feel bad? No, they do not. They do not get demoralized. Their state does not change. They still feel empowered, they still feel motivated, they still feel enthusiastic because to them it is feedback. And these people have what we call reflective intelligence. They are able to notice what went wrong with the strategy and they also have what we call behavioral flexibility.

In other words, they have the ability to consistently change their behavior and do whatever it takes to take action again and again until they get the result they want. No matter how many times they take, they will keep adjusting and changing their strategy until they get what they want. Now, I believe by constantly getting feedback and changing your strategy enough times, guess what, you are eventually going to achieve your goals.

Now that you are aware which category you fall under, you can make the decision to choose which response that you can take whenever you are faced with failure and move forward in reaching your goals.

Labels: deal with failure, Motivation, Personal Development, Personal Excellence, Personal Success

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