Monday, February 01, 2010
Older and wiser, Michael Beasley has a new outlook
MIAMI (
AP) - There was a time, and it wasn't long ago, where Michael Beasley would blow through $20,000 in a night, awaken and want to do it again. Spend fast, drive fast, party fast.
He was an NBA millionaire, living like repercussions need not apply, trusting almost everybody, listening to almost nobody.
And then, he insists, two people changed his ways without saying a word.
The Miami Heat forward says he decided to try escaping his destructive patterns because of his children - Mikaiya, his 7-month-old daughter, and Pierce, his 4-month-old son.
"They're everything to me," Beasley said.
Beasley knows it sounds cliche, and doesn't care. When 2009 began, he was on the cusp of becoming out of control, with priorities driven way out of whack by his own apparent inability to handle the combination of acquiring copious riches and copious fame in a short time.
He spent much of the summer in a rehabilitation facility getting treatment for substance abuse, particularly marijuana, and endured the indignity of having to deal with that delicate situation in a very public manner.
As the year ends, he says everything is different.
His is a nontraditional family. Beasley's kids are in South Florida, living with their respective mothers in separate residences, but he can see them daily when the Heat are home. He monitors spending like never before, checking credit reports and credit card bills regularly, and laments not having more already stashed in his savings account.
A big night out typically involves video games and crashing on teammate Daequan Cook's sofa. And the NBA game is slowing down for him, too.
Michael Beasley, all of 20 years old, says he's growing up.
"People think maybe I cleaned my act up for the moment," Beasley said. 'But I know that if I were to mess up again, everything in my past would be brought up. I'm a whole lot slower now. Not on the court, but I move slow. I take life by strides now. I’m more relaxed than I was. I was a fast motor, the Energizer bunny, got to be here, here, here, every party. Now I sit on my bed and watch Roseanne."
And he says he doesn't miss the fast-lane lifestyle.
"Not one bit," Beasley said, without hesitation.
Beasley went through - put himself through - more this year than some people will deal with in a lifetime.
He said this fall that one more strike against him would have led to a suspension through the NBA substance-abuse policy, which means he already had two strikes. His parents both made headlines for things they posted on Twitter, the social networking site that Beasley used to get himself in trouble through his words and a link to the now-infamous tattoo photo that some thought captured a bag of marijuana on a nearby table.
He found his role with the Heat, becoming a full-time starter at forward. He became a father twice by two women. He didn't remain romantically involved with either woman, but works with both to raise his children in what he hopes is the right way. That is especially important to him because his father wasn't always around. He got stronger, physically and mentally.
That's a full year.
"He put the scarlet letter on his back, himself. And he’s got to deal with it," Heat president Pat Riley said last week. "And he's dealing with it as best as a 20-year-old can deal with it. We're helping him, facilitating everything we can to help him and all of our players, to limit whatever kind of load is out there so he can concentrate."
Even those who really know Beasley can find themselves wondering exactly who he is at times.
Is he the goof who sings "I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R’ Us kid," in the locker room after a game? The guy who wowed the Heat by once sitting down at a piano and starting to play without warning, even though he hadn't taken a lesson in years? The homebody who can rip cars and computers apart and usually put them back together? The budding artist who wants to finish a mural of his teammates by season’s end? The addict who needed rehab and flies in someone he met during rehab once a month to play chess?
Try all the above.
And Beasley's basketball game is better for it, too.
"He’s playing great right now," Orlando coach Stan Van Gundy said. "I thought even last year, look, he was up and down like rookies will be, but scoring is easy for him. It comes very naturally, very easily, even against good defense. He can get a good shot anytime he gets the ball. … On defense, I don't think he's at the point where you can go in and just pick on him at the other end of the floor.
"He's made great strides."
Amid all the off-the-court changes that went into Beasley's reinvention, his work ethic on the floor may be better than ever.
Throughout high school, AAU basketball, even his one year at Kansas State, there weren't many people who could guard the left-handed Beasley. In the NBA, the 6-foot-10 native of Frederick, Md., started finally playing with people better than him, a new and humbling experience.
So he got busy. He could not play defense the way an NBA player should when Miami chose him No. 2 in the 2008 draft, not even close, and he didn't seem necessarily bothered by that when his pro career began. Now, when he gets beat or blows a defensive assignment, Beasley gets demonstrably upset with himself and bears down even harder at both ends of the floor.
"Playing like that, that's the Bob McAdoo in me," Beasley said, referring to the Hall of Famer and Heat assistant coach. "I pick his brain all the time. He tells me, 'Don't let anybody score, and if they score, you get one right back.' Not a bad way to play at all for me."
He is averaging 15.5 points and 7.0 rebounds, both ahead of last year's pace, and he'll play in an NBA Christmas Day game for the first time Friday when Miami visits the New York Knicks.
Beasley listens now. That didn't happen a year ago.
It's just another sign of the maturation process.
"When you have kids, you grow a lot faster than you normally would," said Cook, Beasley's close friend and another young father. "You've got to mature a lot faster. He understands what you can and can't do now that you have kids. You have to be a role model for them. You're their father, they look up to you a lot more. Having kids, I think everything's a lot slower, a lot smoother for him now."
Part of the rehab experience involved Beasley being forced to think about his future, about his kids, and how he would provide if the NBA riches all went away - one of the countless reasons why he says he's now embracing a life of sobriety.
Yes, he has a lot of cars, at least half a dozen. He said last year he had more televisions in his house than he had rooms. He likes nice clothes, new gadgets, things like that, and his $4.9 million salary this season allows for plenty of fun.
Then he came to realize, $35,000 worth of partying in a weekend, that tends to add up quickly.
"When I first started getting paychecks, you couldn't tell me anything," Beasley said. "December of last year, I looked at my savings and I had money but I didn't have as much as I want. That's when it hit me: If I keep spending at this rate, I'm going to be one of those players they talk about."
Now? He swears, he's not that guy anymore.
Beasley rarely misses a chance to say how appreciative he is that the Heat, Riley, coach Erik Spoelstra and teammates stood by him during the rehab fallout. At the same time, he believes there's people out there waiting for him to fail, to go back to drugs, to parties, to see if he'll waste the unbelievable opportunity the NBA provides.
That's when he thinks of Mikaiya, thinks of Pierce. And everything, in those moments, seems right for Michael Beasley.
"My future is up to me," Beasley said. "Their future depends on me. I don't take anything more seriously than that."
By TIM REYNOLDS, AP Sports Writer
Labels: Daequan Cook, Erik Spoelstra, Kansas State, Miami Heat, Michael Beasley, Pat Riley, self improvement, self-improvement
Friday, January 29, 2010
60 Minutes To Clear Goals
I think that most people would agree that the people who have goals are more successful than those who do not have any.
I often talk about leadership and management. Leadership is about doing the right things while management is about doing things right. Often when we study time management, we study efficiency (doing things right) and make the assumption that we have the effectiveness (leadership) solved.
The first step in any time management system should be to work on goals and as such, I use the following 60 Minute Goal Setting Exercise.
Step 1: at the top of a blank piece of paper write down "values" and then spend 10 to 15 minutes writing down everything that you value. There is a great website: www.stevepavlina.com/ that has a list of several hundred values to start your mind thinking in the right direction. After the time is up, stop doing this and move to Step 2.
Step 2: at the top of a blank piece of paper write down "lifetime goals." This is where you can dream; for example, what places would you like to visit; what experiences would you like to have; what would you like to accomplish within your lifetime. This might include traveling to Australia; getting a university degree; living in an X square foot house, etc. There are no rules to this brainstorming - simply make a list.
I have done this goal setting exercise many times and I tend to use the same list of lifetime goals and add to the list each time I do the exercise.
Step 3: at the top of a blank piece of paper write down what you would do if you had six months to live. This part of the exercise really came home to me this week when one of my close friends died at 36 years old. Some of us may have only six months to live; however, we may not know it yet. List everything that you would do if you had only six months to live. Part of the purpose of this exercise that I found works well for me is that it brings the truly important into focus. Often I find things that I would do if I had only six months to live that are not listed on my life time goals.
Step 4: at the top of a blank piece of paper write down your goals for this year. After doing the first three steps, you will find this step much easier than the others. These are the goals to focus on NOW.
This total exercise will only take an hour. An hour spent clarifying your goals can save you hundreds of hours.
Labels: goal setting, goals, self improvement, self-improvement, time, time management
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
18 Reasons to Volunteer Your Time
We know that volunteering a portion of our time is something we should do. There are reminders all around us that our help is needed. Other people will significantly benefit from any time we contribute. But that is not the only reason to volunteer.
Have you thought about the benefits you will get from volunteering?
If you consider the many benefits you will receive, you will be asking yourself why you aren't more involved with helping a cause. Consider these 18 reasons to volunteer some of your time:
1. To make new friends
2. To build personal and profesional contacts
3. To build your self-esteem and self-confidence
4. To develop new job skills
5. To make a difference in the world
6. To increase personal satisfaction
7. To add experience to your resume
8. To develop people skills
9. To develop communication skills
10. To do something as a family
11. To explore career possibilities
12. To feel needed and appreciated
13. To share your skills with others
14. To be challenged
15. To do something different
16. To earn academic credit
17. To improve your health
18. To have fun!
You will get more out of your volunteer experience than you put into it. Don't hesitate to identify and donate some of your time to a worthy volunteer opportunity. You will be glad you did.
Labels: donate, give, giving, health, help, self improvement, self-improvement, skills, time, volunteer, volunteering
Saturday, January 23, 2010
8 Greatest Fears to Achieving Transformation Success
Have you ever had difficulty keeping a simple commitment to yourself? Sure. Nearly everyone I know has, sometime or another, found him or herself "trapped" - wanting to do something yet not acting on their intentions.
So why don't we do some of the things we want to or know we should - like improving our health and building a better body?
Let's say you keep putting off that new fitness program. You can even imagine what it might mean to you: having a firm, strong, healthy body; feeling an abundance of energy; newfound confidence and sex appeal... Still, you don't do it. So why do you keep putting it off? What's preventing you from taking those first steps?
Consider this...
My observation is that our minds tend to see the obstacles first - those barriers that lie between where we are now and where we want to be or who we want to become. Just as fast as you conceive of achieving your new body, your mind begins to spout out every excuse it can come up with why you can't attain your goal. So even before we can initiate any action, we literally paralyze ourselves.
And once your head begins to fill with all the obstacles that could potentially keep you from achieving your newfound goal, suddenly your desire to even try is crushed.
But what if all the obstacles were removed?
Think about it for a moment: if whatever deterred you from attempting to build your very best body suddenly vanished, you'd have no fear to stop you, right?
What if I showed you how to take those obstacles and instantly transform them into strategies for achieving success... Would you consider starting, or sticking to, your new (or current) fitness plan then?
"... we can choose to transform those circumstances that oppose us into specific decisions and actions that can lead us to our goals."The truth is, we can choose to transform those circumstances that oppose us into specific decisions and actions that can lead us to our goals. True empowerment you can use to your advantage!
Let me explain...
The Breakthrough Technique
So how can we break through our fears, smash those barriers, and transform those obstacles into strategies for achieving our fitness goals? It's really quite simple - allow me to introduce you to the Breakthrough Technique. Here I've taken the eight most feared obstacles that potentially stand in the way of your success, followed by a very specific success strategy to blast through them and help you reach your fitness and physique development goals.
Are you ready? Great... let's get started!
Obstacle #1: I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME.
Believe or not, individuals who achieve extraordinary levels of success have days just as hectic as ours. They've got obligations: commitments to work, friends, and family. And let's face it, we're all confined to an equal amount of time - the same 24 hours. Yet some people find the time to continually make exercise a part of their daily routine.
So how do they do it? Simple - they create it. You can instantly create time if you begin to plan, plan, and plan some more. That means planning your days ahead, at least a day in advance, sometimes even a week in advance. One of the best time-creating techniques is to make a list of your daily "to-dos" and schedule when you're going to exercise. (This is a common challenge - we forget how important it is to schedule an appointment with ourselves to exercise.)
Then divide your "to-dos" into things you must do and things you would like to do, so you're less likely to confuse urgency with importance. You see, getting to the gym is important, whereas getting your haircut may seem urgent when you're running late but can certainly be rescheduled. And before you do anything, always ask yourself what you could be doing that would be more productive.
Success Strategy #1: PLAN AHEAD. Creating the time you need to exercise is easy! Plan your days in advance by creating action lists of the most important things to accomplish each day.
Obstacle #2: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
Don't know what exercises to do to help you get the most out of your workouts? Not sure what to eat, when, to help you put on muscle and shed that unwanted bodyfat? And supplements, well, these can be downright confusing!
That's all understandable: there are just so many techniques, recommended by so many "fitness experts." So, whose advice can you trust? It can become paralyzing. So instead of trying to sort through all the (mis)information, stop right now: keep yourself from chasing every exercise theory or latest diet craze. But this doesn't sound like it will do us any good, does it?
So how do you find the answers? It's simple - model the success of others. For example, try our free programs like Maximum Growth, the Lean System Success Plan, or the 21-Day Energy Plan.
The greatest thing about success is that it leaves clues, and if we pay close attention, we can pick up those clues and model the actions and behaviors to produce similar results. Find people, whether in person or in a magazine, who have achieved the type of extraordinary success you wish to achieve, and find out what they did. It's really as easy as that.
"If you follow a proven approach to exercise, nutrition, and supplementation, you will achieve similar success."Success Strategy #2: STUDY A SUCCESSFUL FORMULA—AND FOLLOW IT. Seek someone who has achieved the "extraordinary" results you desire and learn from his or her "winning" actions. If you follow a proven approach to exercise, nutrition, and supplementation, you will achieve similar success.
Obstacle #3: I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY.
Do you wake up every morning feeling energized, powerful, and ready to take on the day? Or do you rise feeling as tired as the night before, resenting that a new day has presented itself so soon? Do you fear your current energy levels would never allow you to participate in a fitness program?
This is a great example of the perceived problem—your lack of energy to exercise—being the ultimate solution. We might believe we're too exhausted to exercise, but in reality, we lack energy simply because we don't exercise!
It's been scientifically proven that incorporating exercise into our lives actually gives us more energy. Moderate levels of exercise can even help us sleep better at night, so we wake up renewed.
How else can you bolster energy levels?
As long as we feed ourselves with properly balanced protein- and carbohydrate-rich meals, we feel an immediate impact on our energy levels. The more closely we keep to our preferred eating strategy, the better we feel, period. Feeding our bodies every two to three hours throughout the day provides us with a stable, constant supply of nutrients required to be more energetic.
Success Strategy #3: GIVE YOUR ENERGY A BOOST. Exercise and proper nutrition play a vital role in our energy levels and allow us to perform at peak levels daily.
Obstacle #4: I HATE SETTING GOALS.
Goals come from having a clear vision of what you want. Knowing you want to build your very best body is great start, but you need something more than that—a statement so compelling it literally pulls you, like a magnet, in the direction of its achievement.
So, maybe you're not certain how to set effective goals? If that's you, then don't worry, everyone starts off this way... To really set effective fitness goals and ensure you'll reach them, you're going to have to learn what I call the S.M.A.R.T. goal-setting technique. Not only will this technique enable you to set the most effective goals, it will help focus your efforts on exactly what you want to achieve.
S.M.A.R.T. stands for:
Specific - you must be specific about what you want to achieve, creating your goal in the present tense. That means using "I am in the process of..." to start your goal statement.
Measurable - how do you measure "better shape" or "slimmer waist"? You can't. So scale your goal to a specific number (e.g., 10% bodyfat, a 33-inch waist, or a size six).
Action-oriented - you must be able to create an action list of things you must do to achieve success.
Realistic - make certain your goal is realistic yet stretches you, given your expectations and timeframe.
Time-bound - a date forces us to give it priority and puts positive pressure on you to achieve it.
Success Strategy #4: TRANSFORM YOUR FITNESS GOALS. Using the S.M.A.R.T. technique will ensure you've set an effective and commanding goal and will not only clarify your path to success but will compel you to achieve it.
Obstacle #5: THERE'S TOO MUCH RISK.
The physical transformation that takes place on your outside (your body) is really a metaphor for the mental (inner) transformation that takes place on the inside. You see, not only should your chosen program change the way you look, it is just as important that it change the way you feel about yourself.
"...not only should your chosen program change the way you look, it is just as important that it change the way you feel about yourself."Every time we purchase the latest miracle pill, workout gadget, or eight-minute solution, we're just avoiding the process of a true transformation and trying to find a quick fix. This is nothing more than treating the symptoms and not the causes. It does nothing to improve our self-esteem, confidence, or personal power.
Let me share a little secret with you and save you time, money, and frustration: this approach never works. And you'll never feel a true sense of fulfillment when you try this type of "magic bullet" approach. Unless you start from the inside, you're sure to find yourself right back where you started, only more disappointed.
We must challenge ourselves to find a solution that involves total balance—a complete solution that integrates some very essential elements, such as proper nutrition and supplementation, cardiovascular and weight-training exercise, and most importantly, strengthening our inner self, our minds.
Your chosen program should help you set commanding goals, transform your old, self-defeating beliefs into new, empowering beliefs, and transform your patterns so you're continually producing results that take you closer to your goals.
Remember, you can't transform a lifetime of poor habits in matter of days. It takes time—a couple of months at best. Rest assured, following a solution that allows you to first transform your inside and then your outside is sure plan for long-term success.
Success Strategy #5: FOLLOW AN INSIDE-OUT APPROACH. To successfully transform your physique and achieve your fitness goals, follow an approach that focuses first on increasing your self-esteem and building confidence, before you concentrate on your physique, and you'll more likely be able to create extraordinary results that will last a lifetime.
Obstacle #6: I CAN'T STAY COMMITTED.
There's a huge difference between intentions and action. And the difference is commitment.
Our commitment to our goals leads us to achievement, even during the toughest times. There is a direct relationship between motivation and commitment. And if you're really committed to making a change now, the only way to make it happen is to create a sense of immediate importance.
You can do this by attaching reasons that are so compelling and so intense you must follow through. So right now, ask yourself the following questions and come up with at least three intensely compelling reasons you must commit to your transformation goals.
What will this cost me if I don't change right now?
What has this cost me so far, concerning my health, physical condition, self-confidence, and energy levels?
If I do change now, how will I feel about myself?
How will this impact my life?
What will I gain as a result?"
Your answers to these questions will help you gain an immediate understanding of what you're committed to and why!
Success Strategy #6: IDENTIFY YOUR REASONS. Clearly state your reasons for wanting to change and make them so compelling you become truly committed to achieving your fitness goals.
Obstacle #7: I LACK THE CONFIDENCE TO SUCCEED.
Sometimes the accomplishment of our goals might seem so overwhelming, the immediate temptation is to give up before we even start—which diminishes our self-confidence even further. It's true. We can't gain confidence until we take action. Yet, we don't want to take action until our confidence levels are raised sufficiently. See the "catch"?
Take, for example, the intimidating obstacle of your entire fitness goal needing to be achieved in a giant, single step. Now that's paralyzing, isn't it?
"... to gain confidence, you must break your fitness goal down into measurable steps."That's why, to gain confidence, you must break your fitness goal down into measurable steps. For example, if you wanted to lose 12% bodyfat within 12 weeks, then you could realistically set your increments for one percent of bodyfat reduction per week. This way, you don't have to focus on the whole goal at any given time, nor do you notice all that you have not yet accomplished; instead you can focus entirely on the smaller, manageable steps ahead. This gives you a tremendous sense of control and achievement. Building your confidence, each step of the way.
By the time you are nearing the end of your first couple of weeks of your fitness program, despite the ups and downs in progress, you will begin to feel more confident. You will be determined to advance one more step and make the effort to complete your fitness program and build your very best body.
Suddenly, as the fear dissipates, you will discover newfound confidence. And best of all, you will have achieved what you once thought was impossible - one increment at a time.
Success Strategy #7: MEASURE YOUR PROGRESS. Success is accomplished only through measuring your progress, always from where you're coming from (backwards). This way, you will never lack a sense of accomplishment, and you'll build your confidence with each and every step.
Obstacle #8: I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MOTIVATION.
So you need a source of motivation in your life - something to get you out of bed in the morning and carry you through the day?
One way is to continually "see" what you want to become by finding a picture of someone's physique you would most like to emulate (probably in your favorite fitness magazine), cut it out, and hang it someplace you're likely to see it over and over again throughout the day. You might even write down your reasons for wanting to achieve this goal with the photo.
By seeing the body you want to achieve in front of you all the time, you'll be pointing your subconscious toward the realization of these results. This constant source of inspiration is a reminder of where you are going. It's called bringing focus to the center of your awareness.
Success Strategy #8: FIND AN INSPIRATION. Discover your inspiration, someone who has turned his or her body and life from ordinary to extraordinary, and use that as your source of daily fuel. Look for inspiration in our Success Stories, such as David Silbaugh, Marina Popelka, and Mark Harden, who have each reached their goals and are now helping others do the same.
Final thoughts
Remember, building a better body does not follow an absolute straight line. Life doesn't work that way. But now that you've found the principle of turning literally any obstacle into a stepping stone for your success, you can create the fitness and physique results you so desire.
By committing to turning these once fearful obstacles into powerful success strategies, you will begin to create extraordinary results in your physique and ultimately achieve your fitness goals.
If there are any other obstacles I overlooked, please email me (at Stephen@realsolutionsmag.com, and I will gladly help you create a success strategy to blast through it.
Labels: fat burning, fitness and weight training, muscle building, self improvement, self-improvement
Thursday, January 21, 2010
7 Reasons Why It Is Important To Have Goals
I recently had a conversation with one of my former students. She has been out of school for a few years now but isn't satisfied with the direction her career has taken. In fact, she's not too happy with her personal life either. Her voice developed more than a touch of whine as she said: "I don't know what to do."
So I asked her about her goals. Her response was a rather slack-jawed look of surprise. "Goals?" Well at least she wasn't whining anymore.
I asked her what she would like to see her career in a few years. I asked her where she'd like to see her life in a few years. She knew the answers to those questions and quickly became animated as she discussed her desire to start her own business. We talked about what she would need to accomplish her goal and what she would have to change.
When we parted ways she felt a lot better about her job because she knew that she wasn't trapped in it. She was taking a necessary step to prepare herself for a long-term goal. She had her eye on the prize and that focus energized her.
That is the power of goals. What are your goals? There are seven reasons why you need to have goals.
- To give direction to life
- To make sure we are the one choosing the direction of our life -- not others, not fate, not the media, etc.
- To motivate
- To make sure we get what we want from life
- To save time
- To reduce stress
- To give a sense of accomplishment
While it can be fun to live without direction in the short-term, in the long-term human beings are wired to need a purpose and direction. Goals give a sense of direction and purpose to life.
It is often easy to let others set our direction for us. We take a job because family or friends point us in that direction and then we follow the dictates of our bosses. We move in other directions because popular culture or the media tells us to do so. The simple truth is that if we do not set our own goals then we will find it too easy to follow a path set by others. This can lead to stress and unhappiness. We have a greater chance of happiness and fulfillment following our own path and pursuing our own goals.
While goals certainly give our lives direction, they also provide the motivation to get us through difficult times and choices. Perhaps going to college at night while working full-time may be stressful and difficult in the short-term, but in the long run being able to pursue the professional goals we desire will make it worthwhile.
Goals also serve as the destination for what we really want out of life. For some people, goals are measured in money or material goods, while for others goals are measured in time or freedom. If we do not have goals outlined that suit our unique perspective on life it is easy to become sidetracked by life and others.
Goals can also help save time. When your "To Do" list becomes too long and your calendar too full, then you can simply compare your goals to the list. What items help you achieve your goal? What items are necessary to your goal? Scratch off the rest as unimportant.
Just as goals save time they also reduce stress because using your goals to focus your life and choices makes it easier to make those choices. Should you take that new position at work? How does it match your goals?
Finally, goals give you a measurable sense of accomplishment. Every goal you achieve, in fact every step you make toward that goal, can give you a boost of energy and momentum to keep going. Each success powers you toward the next level of success.
Now go out and set your goals!
Labels: advice, help, inspiration, motivation, self improvement, self-improvement, tips
Sunday, January 17, 2010
6 Ways To Overcome Shyness And Gain Confidence
Are you shy? Do you have difficulty coping with people or situations? Then I have good news for you. You do not have to suffer from shyness and you should not feel insecure and fear that you are being judged with every step you take.
Winning the war with shyness takes practice, but is definitely well worth the effort as the result is increasing confidence and self esteem. Wake up feeling good about yourself, able to face the world with confidence and security and the knowing that no feeling of shyness can come in your way of achieving your desires.
There are hundreds of books written on the subject of how beat shyness and gain confidence, but there are a few techniques that anyone can practice.
Here are 6 suggestions of techniques on how to overcome your shyness:
1. Every morning, as soon as you get up, get in front of a mirror and say out loud "I feel terrific! I feel terrific! I feel terrific!" Repeat this affirmation with enthusiasm at least ten times everyday until it's ingrained into your subconscious mind. If feel a little self conscious to begin with lock yourself in the bathroom. The results will amaze you.
2. Feel good about yourself. Look your best. Dress up more often. This gives you an extra feeling of confidence and self esteem. On its own just knowing that you look good will boost your confidence and reinforce with others that there are things about you that are worth getting to know.
3. Take a risk at least once a day. It's very invigorating and conquering fears by taking risks helps you grow in confidence and self esteem. Start with small risks and fears and as you overcome them move onto bigger things. There's nothing you cannot do. Be confident in knowing that change can only help you grow, and boost your self confidence.
4. When you are engaged in a one to one conversation, or with a larger group of people, let them know that you're shy. This prevents them from misreading you and they are far more likely to invite you into the conversation rather than leave you just listening and wishing you could contribute.
Many people, me included, find following a conversation in a noisy room difficult. If you are having difficulty say so and move so that you can hear. People respect honesty, and vulnerability and you will attract more honest people into your life as a result.
5. Rejection is a fact of life that everyone experiences. It is rarely you that is being rejected. If you are rejected, for example if you ask someone for a date, remember that everyone has different likes and dislikes. You may be attracted to one type of person and not others. The same applies to other people and you are probably just not their type. That does not devalue you in any way. Accept this and know that you will get over it. Never take it personally and keep in mind that if people reject you it is because of their own likes and dislikes and not because of who you are. You are equally entitled to reject others because of your likes and dislikes.
6. Engage in an activities that make you feel excited and good about yourself or start a hobby that gives you a feeling of relaxation. This could be anything from gardening to Tai Chi to Karate. Take some lessons, learn or master a musical instrument or take singing lessons. Do something that excites you and take a risk. Exploring things that make you feel excited is a great antidote for shyness.
Labels: confidence, gain confidence, overcome shyness, self improvement, self-improvement, shyness
Thursday, January 14, 2010
6 Steps To Goal Success With Hypnosis
Many people think of life as an obstacle course full of hurdles and ditches that need to be navigated successfully in order to be happy. In many ways they are right.
If you are a very goal-orientated person then it is inevitable that you will encounter obstacles on your way to achievement and success.
The bigger the goal the more set-backs there seem to be. These obstacles and set-backs can act as tests. They test your character and your resolve. Each barrier that is overcome and each challenge that is met head on develops your character, belief in yourself and strengthens your resolve to succeed not matter what.
However, when the same obstacles keep showing up over and over again and failure seems to be a common occurrence it's time to re-evaluate your approach to your goals. These recurring problems are an indication of your inability to learn from the temporary failures you are experiencing. The conscious mind is obviously having trouble analysing the reasons behind the failures and keeps making the same mistakes.
At this point some outside help is needed. Obviously you are unable to consciously work through the trouble you are having and it must be a subconscious block that is preventing you from learning your lesson and moving forward. In such situations hypnosis and self hypnosis can be of immense vale. Either Hypnosis or Self Hypnosis can most definitely be used successfully and effectively to get to the root of the problem and eliminate it forever.
One extremely powerful benefit of using hypnosis is the ability to train your mind to stay focused on the successful attainment of your goal. You can program a specific outcome and retain the ability to consciously divert your attention to it in a positive, success-affirming manner. You can also eliminate self-sabotage and remove the negative feelings and thoughts that are blocking your path to success.
Here are some tips for using hypnosis as a goal achievement tool.
1. Visualize. Program yourself with your desired outcome. While under the influence of self hypnosis visually imagine that your goal is already accomplished and your objective has been reached. See it as real. See it through your own eyes and experience all the wonderful feelings associated with that goal attainment.
2. Persistence. Get down into your subconscious mind and change your inner character traits to match those people who NEVER give up. Program your subconscious mind to be persistent regardless of what is going on in any given situation. Post hypnotic suggestions to develop an iron will and persistent approach to your goals will be invaluable in times of stress and disillusionment.
3. Think Positive. Learn to think positively. The subconscious mind has a tendency to replay past memories and throw them back into consciousness in the form of doubts and fears. Through the use of self hypnosis you can totally eliminate them. Program your subconscious mind to think positively and expect positive results.
4. Program out the Problem. Enevitably some problem will arise when you pursue worthwhile goals. Through hypnosis you can solve these problems fairly rapidly. While in trance see yourself successfully traversing the obstacle. You don't have to see how you did it, just see yourself at the other side, relieved, happy and proud that you "figured it out" and reached the other side. If this, in itself, is a probelm for you, or you find it hard to do then seek the advice of a qualified hypnotherapist. A competent hypnotherapist will find the root of your problem probably in the fits consultation!
5. Pre-pave your path. Imagine yourself meeting the right people and being in the right place at the right time. Program your mind like this, through the power of hypnosis, and your subconscious mind will pick up on non-verbal clues, process the millions of bits of information you receive every second and guide you to the right course of action.
6. Develop faith. Use hypnosis to convince the subconscious mind that your goal is already a reality. "Fake it till you make it". Fool your subconscious mind into believing the "real" world is actually exactly like the world you have been visualizing. In the deeply relaxed state that hypnosis offers you can get fully involved in your mental image. Really feel how great it is to have already accomplished all those things you wanted for so long. Enjoy the fact that you are enjoying the benefits of having reached that goal.
Follow these six steps and use them with the power of hypnosis and you will be catapulted towards your goal faster than you can imagine.
Labels: goals, hypnosis, personal development, personal growth, self help, self hypnosis, self improvement, subconscious
Monday, January 11, 2010
5 Ways To SuperSize Your Life
McDonald's does it, why shouldn’t you? Life is filled with choices; why not choose to live life in a more satisfying way.
1. Say Yes to Life. "Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact." - Henry James
Saying yes to life allows wonderful blessings to come to you. Say yes to opportunity and success. Say yes to a life that you live by your standards. Say yes to making your own decisions and not seeking approval of others. Say yes to a fulfilling and rewarding career. Say yes to a relationship that energizes, supports and stimulates you. Say yes to a promising future. Say yes to living without guilt, resentment or regrets. Say yes to spending more time on your self improvement. Say yes to living an authentic life. Say yes to taking chances and freeing yourself from fear. Say yes to happiness and achievements. Say yes to a well-lived life.
2. Love Yourself and Others Unconditionally. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs ..." I Corinthians 13: 3, 5)
When was the last time you loved without hesitation or caution? Withholding love as a means of control only leads to distrust and resentment. Loving unconditionally means loving without judgment. Free yourself from unrealistic expectations and accept the person you love for who they are. Do not expect your needs and wants to be fulfilled by someone else. Allow those you love to express themselves without fear of rejection. Do not punish yourself or loved ones for past mistakes. People use the word love very loosely, but do not stop to think of the implications of using the word. Take the time to be responsible in how you show love. Allow yourself to love and be loved.
3. Take Risks. "There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anais Nin
Everything in life involves a risk. Are you allowing fear of rejection and failure to dictate your life? Fear inhibits success. Take chances and free yourself from limiting beliefs. Taking risks empowers you to take charge of your life. Be curious about life; experiment and try new things. Set goals for yourself and take action. Step out of what is safe, comfortable and familiar to you. Examine what feelings emerge when you are thinking about taking a risk. Ask yourself, "What am I afraid of?" Concealing yourself in a safe container prevents you from exploring other possibilities. Embrace the unknown and anticipate success. You will never know the outcome if you don't take the risk.
4. Make the Impossible, Possible. "The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." - Winston Churchill
Think it can't happen; then it won't. It is possible to get through the difficult times in life. Learn from failures and take responsibility for your life. Listening to your inner critic can sabotage your dreams. Silence the critic by reaffirming all the things you are capable of doing. Dream big and be excited about your future. Find and release your untapped talents. Believe in your abilities and discover what you have to offer the world. Think about all the things you can't do and try to do them. Think back to a time, when something was difficult and you were able to overcome the challenge. Continuing to live life in a safe container doesn’t help you gain anything in life. Take the necessary actions to achieve your goals. Stop assuming and start achieving!
5. Make Your Life Really Count. "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." - Annie Dillard
What's your legacy? How do you want to be remembered? The life you live defines who you are and the choices you make will determine what impact you will have on the lives of others. Never underestimate the power of your words and actions. You were uniquely created to make a contribution to the world. It is your right and your obligation to make your mark in this world. Surround yourself with people who are supportive, positive and encouraging. Show appreciation and gratitude to those around you. If you have a message to share, then share it with the world. Staying small and thinking small will not get you where you need to be in life. Starting today, have a new perspective on life. Start a new chapter in your life.
Labels: goal setting, self improvement, self-improvement, success
Friday, January 08, 2010
5 Quick And EASY Techniques To Help You Realize And Fulfill Your TRUE Goals In Life
Did you know that 'Goal Setting' is the secret to fulfilling ANY dream or desire you want in life?
Did you also know that SUPER Successful people use 'Goals' to attain the knowledge and wealth they have today?
Some of you reading this right now might agree and some of you might not.
That decision is yours to make.
The reason people find it too hard to achieve their goals is simple because they've set their Long-Term goals before setting Short-Term ones, or they just didn't plan their goals out carefully.
Goal setting strategies are VERY important, especially for those who want to achieve Long-Term goals.
Well, your in luck because I'm going to share five 'Goal Setting' techniques to help you realize your TRUE goals today.
Your only requirement is to keep an open mind.
So, with that said, lets go to Technique #1.
Technique #1. Start with Short-Term goals.
Sometimes, people start with short-term goals unconsciously.
Why unconsciously?
Some of them may have considered the goals to be long-term at the time they planned them; and after achieving a goal, they realize that they are in fact, looking forward to a longer one.
Some are contented with their short-term goals, but after a while will realize that they also need to attain long-term ones.
Short-term goals seem to be our starting point for our Long Term ones.
They also motivate the person to plan for longer goals, which will usually take some time before achieving them in full.
Technique #2. Make sure you really want the goal.
By this, you have to ask yourself: "Do I really want this goal and will this goal give me a better life?"
Answering this ONE question will give you more passion and motivation to achieve your goal.
Some people often recall their past to find out Why and How they came up with such goal.
Technique #3. Speak up.
What I mean by this is you shouldn't keep your goals to yourself only. By sharing your goals with other people it'll help you get the support you may need in order to fulfill them.
The problem that usually occurs though is some people are just too shy to tell others about their goals for reasons like they are afraid they cannot achieve them in the end, or they lack the courage to speak their minds.
This is not a good habit to get into because when the time comes that you really need their support, you will have a difficult time getting it.
You'll then be left to achieve your goals all by yourself.
Don't make this mistake.
Technique #4. Write down your goals.
This strategy is critical and more advisable for those who have a long list of goals.
After writing them down in as much detail, it is advisable that you review them on a daily to weekly basis because this will encourage and motivate you to achieving them, plus, this will also keep that vision of your goal alive.
Technique #5. Stay on track and never give up.
Reviewing notes will help open your mind to see if you are on the right track. While on track, you may have to face challenges that might change your personality.
A person who is overconfident might suddenly feel depressed after finding out that he is going the wrong way in achieving his goal.
Thus this might lead to abandoning the goal.
Never be discouraged.
Facing obstacles is a test on how passionate one is to realizing his or her goals.
There you have it.
Give those a try and keep a visual picture in your mind everyday of you fulfilling that goal you desire so much.
Labels: goal setting, goals, how to set goals, motivation, personal developement, self help, self improvement
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Tonight: Trade Secrets of a Multi-Million Dollar Guru
Wow! I just finished reading the power points for Wednesday's webinar with my friend the ex-fund manager.
And, I've got to say, that in all my years in the trading business, this is the most content rich webinar I have ever seen. No hype, only hard core trading truths that not everyone is going to like.
Things like the fact that he and his hedge fund buddies used to hunt stops. Now he's teaching "civilians" how to make money off those hedge hunters.
If you are new to trading, this hour could save you thousands of dollars over the school of hard knocks.
Those who don't get information like this risk having their whole investment account being wiped out, before they've really had a chance to trade.
Don't miss out - Click here to register for this Free ETF and Money Management Seminar.
For trading veterans I can guarantee you that the advanced position sizing tip is a golden nugget you'll use for increasing profits and decreasing risks in the years to come. This one tip could double your profits regardless of what your entry system is. The one tip alone can turn any average system into a winning system.
We'll cover:
- How to maximize your winners.
- Why most traders have it backwards when it comes to risk.
- How to eliminate 95% of trading stress and emotion.
- Why most traders have it backwards when it comes to winning percentages.
- Even how to become a professional money manager and raise millions, if you so desire.
That last one really surprised me. Because I know that if you really want to make millions in trading the fastest way is to use leverage with other peoples' money, when you are ready.
There are so many reasons to attend this F.R.E.E webinar Wednesday at 9pm EST. I honestly believe you're missing the boat if you don't take advantage of this opportunity. It won't be a waste of your time! I love sharing high quality content with my subscribers and this is going to be one of the best.
Our host has worked trades as large as $50 million during his money management career. He will share a little of his story, but most of the hour will be spent teaching you how to improve your trading.
See you then,
Cheers,
Ave Ramel
P.S. That's right, $50 million advice, f.r.e.e, and a chance to win a free 1 year mentorship with a professional trader just by showing up.
*** Pay attention while our guest explains how you can make more profits with less risk trading the markets.
Labels: exchange traded fund, exchange traded fund etf, exchange traded funds, exchange traded funds etf, exchange traded funds etfs, exchange traded funds list, self improvement

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